I had a friend who said, “I prefer to die rather than to be rejected by a woman.” He could not be called bad with women. Because he had no relationship with women. What I observe in common about all men who have a very high fear of rejection is that all these men are very inexperienced with women.
Could more rejections help you overcome your rejection fear? Indirectly yes. What actually happens is that the more you experience about flirting the more you will understand that actually attraction how much less is associated with your personality. Whether you get rejected or not, your perception of rejection will change.
Differences Between Experience and Imagination
If you have a realistic perception, more experience will completely transform the way you evaluate rejection. Gradually you will take it less personally and you will not be offended anymore. Be sure before you say “yes I have a realistic view of life” that what you think realism is not pessimism. I always thought myself as realistic but one day I realized I am just someone who sees always negative sides of things.
Are you interested in fat and ugly girls? Even if she is a very good person, very smart and intellectual? Libido is just a mechanism that selects people with healthy genes that you can reproduce with and it works in the fastest way. It releases hormones that make huge differences in your body and behavior and these hormones don’t take notice much personality. 🙂 Your conscious brain, which considers her personality, is rather weak against the power of your instincts.
Women’s libido is just a little more complicated than men’s. They are essentially the same. Finding suitable opposite-sex to reproduce is a very superficial process and it is largely not about your personality.
You always tend to look for defects in yourself behind any rejection. Because your self-esteem is low. The second thing you need to work on to overcome rejection fear is self-esteem. Also there is nothing that turn-offs women faster than low self-esteem. Many of the unconsciously instinctive tests of women are for measuring your self-esteem. But worse is that as long as you express yourself with low self-esteem, you will not be happy even if women accept you.
Low Self-Esteem Turn-offs Women
Every time you thought the reasons for rejection are your defects, you are so far away from a realistic view. Because there are lots of possibilities. She may be going through a bad period. She may have prejudice about you because she may have had a bad experience with someone similar to you. Maybe you are not her type. Maybe she has a boyfriend or someone she likes. She may be a lesbian. She may even don’t like your hair color. Even if the reason for rejection is about you, it is only about your game, not your personality. You have a game even if you are not aware of the real dynamics of attraction. Because every man has a strategy to attract women in somehow.
Here is a very simple example for you to grasp of place of self-esteem in game. Women may not reply to your message 1-2 days. Especially attractive women with many men around use this more. They eliminate the majority of men by indifference test. Because men with low self-esteem feel worthless when they do not get a response from the woman smiling at him just two days ago. As soon as the sense of worthlessness is triggered, they tend to give an emotional response. Ironically, exactly when they feel worthless, this will be their end.
If you are aware of the unconscious shit-tests of women, you can pass this test because you have plenty of time to think while messaging. But it is almost impossible to hide emotional reactions when you are face to face. So what you really need to work on is your self-esteem. When she doesn’t reply to your message for a week, you should be tended to think that her father may have had cancer or her life was going bad due to other mishaps. Otherwise, it is not much possible she doesn’t answer a man like you. Of course, you do not have to have such high self-esteem. That is very hard point to reach. But you should feel yourself “enough” in many aspects at least.
Unfortunately, high self-esteem is not something you can achieve by pretending that you believe you are valuable. The principle of “Fake it till you make it” is useless in this regard. In order to have good thoughts about yourself, you really need to do things that will change your mind about it. You must be someone who keeps your promises to ownself at first. You must focus on things you can change. In general very high percent, these things are about you. You should not focus on blaming others or conditions. Blaming the conditions and not taking responsibility will not take you one step further.