You are someone who wants to help the people around you. But do you think that you somehow do not get the respect you deserve? It is one of the biggest problems that polite people experience. Today, kindness is seen as a weakness. There are some things you need to be careful about to be more respected.
Maybe you don’t want to hurt anyone. You don’t want to break a heart. Unfortunately, this is not the case with other people’s eyes. Most of the apologies will make you look smaller and convey the message that you have low self-esteem. All these processes will happen subconsciously, and when you apologize easily, people’s respect for you will decrease. Unfortunately, even when you really need to apologize, you should do this without lowering yourself. If it is really necessary, you can say that a mistake has been made and that it will not happen again.
You should not apologize to someone who downplays you. People communicate with you in the way how you permit. When you reward people’s unpleasant behavior with an apology, you will only be a loser in their eyes. If you really made a mistake and there is someone who communicates with you in the right way, you can imply you made a mistake and say that it will change. However, if you have not really hurt someone, you should not apologize unnecessarily. Unnecessary apologies destroy dignity.
2. Over-expressing yourself
Imagine asking someone for an address on the way. He once explained the way to you and started to describe it again when you tried to leave. You may have seen people who have done this many times. What do you think about it? Involuntarily your respect for that person will decrease because of annotations. You can assume that he has plenty of free time. As a result, you cannot think of nice things.
The same social dynamics apply in your social environment. Over-explaining your opinion in a discussion or when you are asked a question will put you in the same situation. The more you need to explain yourself, the more you seem to be fluttering. It makes you look like someone needy and seeking approval. You are asking for approval for value. You spend an effort to get the attention of the people around you, and that means you are simply inferior to them. At least on the subconscious level.
When we look at the politically correct discourses, one of the greatest virtues in this world is sacrifice. However, if a person makes sacrifices to every person without distinguishing good or bad, that person has no value. A person who helps people at the expense of self-harm and without waiting for benefit is regarded as a sucker by both that person and his environment.
The favors that are easily obtained generally do not create a sense of gratitude. Because it is considered to be much more where it came from. This is unlikely to be a sacrifice. Unfortunately, if you are someone who sacrifices without being deserved, you are a loser in the eyes of people.
4. Not accepting compliments
Do you tend to not accept it when someone compliments you? Do you make explanations to reject or devalue this situation? One of the biggest signs that create a loser impression is not accepting compliments.
When someone says your outfit is stylish, you don’t have to say how cheap it is right away. You don’t have to say that when your hair is liked, you only do this by chance. When you get a compliment about your personality trait, you don’t need to mention you’re bad habits immediately. All of this unfortunately only conveys that you have low self-esteem. You should stop persuading people who like you that you are not that much good. Because when you do that, people will think that after a while you really don’t deserve that praise.
5. Not being able alone
Some people don’t want to go alone when they have to go somewhere. They want to have someone with them even in the easiest jobs. It doesn’t matter what it is. On the way to the hospital, to the hairdresser, or to a job interview. They always want to have someone with them. If you always need someone, people will see you as weak.
Trying to attract attention by complaining about everything is literally the method of losers. Some people like to complain to people about every problem in their life. They are not even aware of the loser mentality living in their souls. They always complain about external conditions and people. They focus on what they cannot change, not what they have control.
There is nothing more effective you can do to keep people bored and away from you. No matter how much they love you, they will get away from you over time because you stole their focus and energy for useless things. Realize how this shows you and stop complaining.
6. Putting someone at the center of your life
There may be a belief in the depths of your subconscious that you will be complete when you find the right person. This is mostly a mistake women make, but for a man, this is a much more critical mistake. We have mentioned this before in “the biggest mistake: chasing that very special woman” article. When you put a woman in the center of your life, that woman cannot cope with it. Aside from her respect for you will decrease, her passion will drop rapidly.
Relationships where two people come together feeling incomplete never bring happiness. Relationships, where two happy people come together, bring happiness. However, if a relationship is your main source of happiness in life, it means that you are already incomplete. A female has the luxury of having this deficiency, but the male never has. This is a much bigger problem than looking like a loser.
You can put a friend at the center of your life also. This means that you are afraid of being alone. Of course, your friend will feel the interest and emotional reactions you have. Because of your emotional reactivity, that person will unintentionally begin to see your value as lower. When nobody is indispensable for you, you convey the message that you have a much stronger personality around.
7. Trying to please everyone
As your social circle expands, some people will not like you as a result of statistics. It is impossible for everyone to love you even if you are the best person in the world. It is impossible for everyone to hate you even if you are the worst person in the world. So all you can do is take care of the positive reviews and take advantage of them.
Ironically, the more successful you are, the more criticism and negative comments you will receive. It is a sign of strength to meet them with maturity and unresponsiveness. However, the need to answer every criticism conveys the message that you are weak. Instead, you only should respond to criticism you can benefit from. If you have an answer to everything, you will lose people’s respect because of your reactivity. Reactivity means weakness.
There are many types of searching for approval. For example, to look into your friend’s eyes and wait for a reaction after a joke. Or waiting for people to join you after expressing yourself. Your amount to do these all behaviors determines how much you will be memorized as a loser in their minds.
You should try to reduce them all. However, you will not be able to get rid of your habits for a long time. Your motivation will end and you will give up for a long period. You will blame yourself. But these are just habits that are not your choice, this is not you. To get rid of them is your choice. Keep short that released periods and try to stay on the line.